Monday, November 30, 2009

Obama's First Year Full Of Humor...Unfortunately

In his first year, Obama has been a constant source of unwitting amusement to many as he plods through his first year as President. Other Presidents, such as Gerald Ford, have had their moments because of various foibles committed by them during their terms. President Ford had a penchant for falling down Air Force One stairs, much to the chagrin of his press Secretary and to delight of the M.S.M. and Saturday Night Live.

Obama didn’t wait too long for one of the early Faux Pas committed by him. At a St. Patrick’s Day Party at the White House just one month into the age of Obama, the Irish Prime Minister was just a few lines into his speech, when he stopped reading the teleprompter and told Obama that he was reading the same speech that Obama had just read.

Obama took the stage again to save the day, and when he reached the podium, the rogue teleprompter switched to the correct speech that the Prime Minister was to have read. Obama started to read the Prime Minister’s speech, and graciously thanked himself for giving the St. Patrick’s Day party at the White House. Thus was born “TOTUS,” the Teleprompter of the United States.

And, who can forget Obama’s Gift to the British prime Minister? The President received a custom made writing pen, crafted from deck wood from a slave ship from the P.M. Obama reciprocated by giving the P.M. a collection of classic American movie DVDs. Problem was that they were not recorded in a format that European DRVs could use for playback.

To add further insult, Obama, in an early act of Narcissism and cheesiness, gave Queen Elizabeth II a cheap IPod containing some of his favorite speeches.

Of course, there was the promise of the Golden Age of Obama, where many Obamaphiles were led to believe in the following “Hope and Change”

1. You won't have to think for yourself. Oh my God, its so hard to make decisions or plans for one's future anymore. You can depend on President Obama for the rest of your life to do all your thinking and make all decisions for you from now on. If he is too busy, someone who works for him will. What a load off your mind. Just trust them.

2. All your needs will be provided for. Just wait for your monthly government check. As long as there are wealthy people to provide for us and the government printing presses are well oiled, we will never run out of money. As many heard someone else say on Barack's election day, "I never thought this day would come. I'll never have to work to pay for gasoline again. I'll never have to work to pay my mortgage anymore." Well said.

3. Your college tuition will be free. Why should you leave your parent's house and struggle to get a grant or a student loan or pay tuition when everything will be given to you? It's a fact that under Obama you will get a "B" for just showing up in class now.

4. There will be no world conflict because we will all get along now. Everybody loves Obama. Terrorism has begun to end now that the world knows we are harmless. We no longer have anything to fear. All overseas terrorist attacks don't affect us because we live so far away

5. No one will hate America anymore. Everyone knows that the only reason that all the world hated us was because of George W. Bush. He’s gone, problem solved.

6. You won't have to worry about gun violence or crime. Obama is against guns, gun ownership, and is against concealed carry of handguns. His attorney general announced that Obama “has a few things he wants to do with guns.” We can join Europe in making guns illegal. They have no crime problems.

7. Your health care will be free. We are modeling our free health care after the efficient systems in Canada and England. Health care is for the healthy and the young. Valuable resources won't be squandered in treating the elderly because they have lived their lives. He will give every elderly person a Yugo. "Here are some pain pills for you to relax with. Now, Yugo take them."
The Eskimos used to set their elderly outside in the winter when they got too old. Now we can depend on Obama to do this for us.

8. Your housing will be free. There are lots of vacant houses now. If you don't like the one you live in now, you can just move into one you recently vacated on mortgage default. You can depend on Obama, or maybe even you to pay my mortgage for me if I ever need to get one. I might even hand out bumper stickers to you that say, "Honk if I'm paying your mortgage."

9. And, of course, free food too. Some people get free food now, but the program will expand for everyone. Instead of shopping, You will just show up at a government warehouse free super market and get all the free food that you can eat. Please, always be thoughtful and courteous and not take too much.

10. The wealthy will pay for everything. Need he say more?

11. Chicks dig socialists


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rookie said...

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