1. I will have my own teleprompter in my house. It will be connected directly to Obama's TOTUS in the White House. Instead of having to think, I will just read out loud to everyone what Barack wants me to think and say.
2. CNN and MSNBC will be my eyes and ears. They will watch anyone who may disobey the directions of Barack Obama, and have unbiased news reports, unlike other non mainstream media. They were especially effective in exposing who was really behind the so called Tea Parties.
3. I won't have to worry about domestic terrorism anymore. We have been warned that all returning war veterans are going to become someone like McVeigh and kill people. Obama and the Homeland Security Department told me so in their report "Right wing Extremism" that just came out.
I have reduced mine to wallet size and laminated it.
Perhaps we can keep track of all these crazy returning military people's whereabouts and put them on a list like sex offenders have.
4. I will know who the rest of the right wing extremist radicals are. Anyone who disagrees with Obama's plans is an extremist radical. I'll volunteer to go undercover to all of those stupid "Tea Parties" that they will have here in town and take pictures of the nut jobs there and give them to the FBI. They just cause traffic jams and regular people can't find parking places to shop. Maybe I'll set one of those useless American flags on fire and make them look bad.
5. Obama will make the world live in harmony.
We all saw how effective that he was when he went to the G20 meeting overseas. Everyone loves us now.
6. No one will have those vicious guns. I won't have to worry about crime anymore.
7. I will not need electricity or other power that is created by polluting sources. I will just flip a switch, and all the power I need will just come out of the air.
The same goes for fuel for my car.
8. The government will give cars and houses to everyone, which will create jobs.
9. Everyone will have a dog like Obama's. We will get free dog food too.
10. Term limits for presidents will be abolished under Obama. Maybe Obama can serve as long as Hugo Chavez has in Venezuela. Look at all the good Chavez has done without worrying about reelection.
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