Tuesday, March 27, 2012

What Obama Really Means When He Talks - An Easy Translator To Basic English

Man Caused Disaster - This used to be when a kid didn't make it fast enough to the boys room in grade school...Now its what the administration calls terrorism
Mideast Peace Process - Israel should move back to its 1967 borders, or even better, all the way back to Europe
Countering Violent Extremism - Apologizing for America
Hope And Change -  Yes, but not the Hope and Change you want
Change You Can Believe In - Socialism or what's left in your pocket after Obama takes the rest
Economic Uncertainty - I don't know what in the hell I am doing
Beer Summit - I don't know how else to handle this, so lets's all sit down together and get wheezered
Kinetic Military Action - Don't call it a war. Liberals don't participate in those
Overseas Contingency Operation - A vacation to Hawaii, Spain, or other places Michelle has visited or will visit across the ocean
Fundamentally Changing America - Tossing the Constitution
Spreading the Wealth -Recycling your bank account
Small Business - What will be left after Obama finishes crushing large ones
Greedy Corporations - Companies that operate at a profit
Outliers - Rogue States, those in fly over country,  and Republicans
I Believe We Are Better Off  Now Than We Were 4 Years Ago - You are definitely saving money on gas, food, and other previously available necessities because you can't afford them anymore
Special Interests - Anyone Obama dislikes, or companies, or organizations he doesn't believe in
Under Priviliged - Those who haven't had enough government programs created for them yet
Stimulus Packages - Lets keep blowing money until we get it right
Oil Company Subsidies - Commonly known as Income tax deductions and tax credits for us - but, its free money for oil companies
Common Sense Gun Laws - Anything that keeps you from owning guns or ammunition
Teachable Moment - An example of why Socialism is preferable
Economic Recovery - Our Country's complete conversion to Socialism
Open Mike Gaffes - Saying what he really means such as, "I have to deal with him every day,"or misreading teleprompters as when he thanked himself for having a St. Patty's day party for Ireland's P.M in 2009.
Fair Share - Higher taxes
Investments - Government spending
Shared Sacrifices- higher taxes for the 53% of Americans who actually pay income taxes
Balanced approach - New spending and higher taxes
Revenue Enhancements - Higher Taxes
Deficit Reduction - Increased Spending
Change Is Never Easy - Trust me four more years
Extremists - Not Islamic extremists, but all Republicans
Massive Ordinance Disposal - Bye Bye Nuclear Deterrent
Green Energy Companies - Companies that take our green, create no energy, and promptly fold
Green Energy Jobs - Living on Unemployment after being fired from failed Federally subsidized
solar panel companies - After all, Pelosi says Unemployment Payments build the economy.
Shared Values - Saul Alinsky and Cloward and Piven Socialist Tenets
Annnnnd, Thennnnnnnn ( Interchangable- I haven't a clue what to say next without my teleprompter

And, here are some definitions that have been making the internet rounds:
In California:
Means in Texas:
Diversity/Lifestyle Choice
Sinful and Perverted
Arsenal of Weapons
Gun Collection
Delicate Wetlands
Undocumented Worker
Illegal Alien
Cruelty-Free Materials
Assault and Battery
Attitude Adjustment
Heavily Armed
Rain Forest
The Jungle
Commonsense Gun Control
Gun Confiscation Plot
Illegal Hazardous Explosives
Fireworks or Stump Removal
Nonviable Tissue Mass
Unborn Baby
Equal Access to Opportunity
Multicultural Community
High Crime Area
Fairness /Social Progress
Upper Class or "The Rich"
Progressive, Change
Big Government Scheme
Homeless or Disadvantaged
Bums/Welfare Leeches
Sniper Rifle
Scoped Deer Gun
Investment For the Future
Higher Taxes
Healthcare Reform
Socialized Medicine
High Capacity Magazine
Standard Mag
Religious Zealot
Fair Trade Coffee
Overpriced Yuppie Coffee
Exploiters or "The Rich"
Employed/Land Owner
The Gun Lobby
NRA Members
Assault Weapon
Semi-Auto (Grandpa's M1 Carbine)
Fiscal Stimulus
New/Higher Taxes
Same Sex Marriage
Legalized Perversion

No comments: