Mideast Peace Process - Israel should move back to its 1967 borders, or even better, all the way back to Europe
Countering Violent Extremism - Apologizing for America
Hope And Change - Yes, but not the Hope and Change you want
Change You Can Believe In - Socialism or what's left in your pocket after Obama takes the rest
Economic Uncertainty - I don't know what in the hell I am doing
Beer Summit - I don't know how else to handle this, so lets's all sit down together and get wheezered
Kinetic Military Action - Don't call it a war. Liberals don't participate in those
Overseas Contingency Operation - A vacation to Hawaii, Spain, or other places Michelle has visited or will visit across the ocean
Fundamentally Changing America - Tossing the Constitution
Spreading the Wealth -Recycling your bank account
Small Business - What will be left after Obama finishes crushing large ones
Greedy Corporations - Companies that operate at a profit
Outliers - Rogue States, those in fly over country, and Republicans
I Believe We Are Better Off Now Than We Were 4 Years Ago - You are definitely saving money on gas, food, and other previously available necessities because you can't afford them anymore
Special Interests - Anyone Obama dislikes, or companies, or organizations he doesn't believe in
Under Priviliged - Those who haven't had enough government programs created for them yet
Stimulus Packages - Lets keep blowing money until we get it right
Oil Company Subsidies - Commonly known as Income tax deductions and tax credits for us - but, its free money for oil companies
Common Sense Gun Laws - Anything that keeps you from owning guns or ammunition
Teachable Moment - An example of why Socialism is preferable
Economic Recovery - Our Country's complete conversion to Socialism
Open Mike Gaffes - Saying what he really means such as, "I have to deal with him every day,"or misreading teleprompters as when he thanked himself for having a St. Patty's day party for Ireland's P.M in 2009.
Fair Share - Higher taxes
Investments - Government spending
Shared Sacrifices- higher taxes for the 53% of Americans who actually pay income taxes
Balanced approach - New spending and higher taxes
Revenue Enhancements - Higher Taxes
Deficit Reduction - Increased Spending
Change Is Never Easy - Trust me four more years
Extremists - Not Islamic extremists, but all Republicans
Massive Ordinance Disposal - Bye Bye Nuclear Deterrent
Green Energy Companies - Companies that take our green, create no energy, and promptly fold
Green Energy Jobs - Living on Unemployment after being fired from failed Federally subsidized
solar panel companies - After all, Pelosi says Unemployment Payments build the economy.
Shared Values - Saul Alinsky and Cloward and Piven Socialist Tenets
Annnnnd, Thennnnnnnn ( Interchangable) - I haven't a clue what to say next without my teleprompter
And, here are some definitions that have been making the internet rounds:
In California: | Means in Texas: |
Diversity/Lifestyle Choice | Sinful and Perverted |
Arsenal of Weapons | Gun Collection |
Delicate Wetlands | Swamp |
Undocumented Worker | Illegal Alien |
Cruelty-Free Materials | Polyester |
Assault and Battery | Attitude Adjustment |
Heavily Armed | Well-protected |
Narrow-minded | Righteous |
Rain Forest | The Jungle |
Commonsense Gun Control | Gun Confiscation Plot |
Illegal Hazardous Explosives | Fireworks or Stump Removal |
Nonviable Tissue Mass | Unborn Baby |
Equal Access to Opportunity | Socialism |
Multicultural Community | High Crime Area |
Fairness /Social Progress | Marxism |
Upper Class or "The Rich" | Self-Employed |
Progressive, Change | Big Government Scheme |
Homeless or Disadvantaged | Bums/Welfare Leeches |
Sniper Rifle | Scoped Deer Gun |
Investment For the Future | Higher Taxes |
Healthcare Reform | Socialized Medicine |
Extremist,/Judgmental/Hater | Conservative |
High Capacity Magazine | Standard Mag |
Religious Zealot | Church-going |
Fair Trade Coffee | Overpriced Yuppie Coffee |
Exploiters or "The Rich" | Employed/Land Owner |
The Gun Lobby | NRA Members |
Assault Weapon | Semi-Auto (Grandpa's M1 Carbine) |
Fiscal Stimulus | New/Higher Taxes |
Same Sex Marriage | Legalized Perversion |
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